That's a Pretty Big Matzo Ball...

Last night, when I couldnt sleep, my thoughts turned to my girl-friends. Most women my age probably have a number of them but I, actually, haven't had all that many. I think this is mainly due to the fact that I am one of those sad/happy/nonchalant females that keep other women at arm's length. I'm sure it's probably because of my talent for saying the wrong thing and not realizing it until years later or maybe because of bad experiences in the past, where I've put my trust in the wrong people and only discovered through the feminine 'grapevine' that my confidence was sadly misplaced. That being said, I do have a few women friends that mean alot to me and as I lay there last night in my nyquil-enhanced reverie I found myself wishing I could say a few things to all of them.

So here it is:
I'm going to list them in the order of their entrance into my life, starting with-

H.C-J: You are THE happy memory I have of my two years at Kingsbury Middle School. I cannot remember a single teacher's name or a lick of pre-algebra but I can still remember how to fold a note into a perfect little house. We were going to walk around school singing The Monkees Theme Song and wear matching outfits every day of the year (thank God we didnt). The lives of Lisa and Brendan will forever be a secret only we two can know. Thank you so much for letting me back in (albeit via email) after all these years. Now that I'm getting to know you again, I could kick myself for letting this much time pass.

R.Q.-I would never have thought as we lay awake in your room discussing the accountability of The Cure that someday our children would be living in the same 'holler', much less terrorizing the same teacher. It's a great thing and even though you will probably be moving on soon, situating yourself as an urban independant elsewhere, I want you to know that I plan to take advantage of the close proximity I have now to one of my oldest friends. A midnight to four a.m. game of spades would not be amiss.

S.S-G: During the early nineties when my family was altering forever, you were no less than a sister to me. Singing by the ocean was and is one of the highlights of my life. I will never forget how comfortable we were in those days, and how close. Unfortunately, life keeps altering and that's ok. The country mouse and the city mouse may not have agreed on everything but they remained as close as they could and they never forgot that they were both still mice. We come from a line of strong women and I am confident that if neither of us 'give up in doing what is fine', we will always maintain a healthy bond. I'm looking forward to keeping it healthy so that our children can have one too.

M.N-Even though your no-nonsense approach to life intimidates me at times, it is also the thing that makes me respect you the most. You share my love of games, disney, and all things that involve planning. When I think of that crazy thing they call 'natural' childbirth, I always think of how calm and steady you were for the duration. Both times. You're always available to help when I need you and yet, you keep your distance just long enough to make me miss you terribly.

D.P-You and your family are like a little mirror of mine. We have flip-flop personalities though. You and my husband are very similar and me and yours I think. Plus you've got two boys. I guess that's why I feel so comfortable around you. When we finally get together, it's like we've always been around each other and the conversation is forever stimulating. I love it when I see that you're online just so we can swap emoticons and funny links. I just want you to know how much I treasure the time I've spent w/ you and yours. The trip to the mountains when we were both pregnant still remains one of my favorites....the gameshows, the gorgeous leaves, the cabin, the deer, the 'piernt' in the caverns....ahhhh.

N.N.-I think you have had a few more troubles than the average person and yet you've managed to keep strong and balenced regardless. You are one of the most loyal, endearing, and funniest people I know, something that can never be overstated. As a mother, you are astonishing. I've told you before; I should have a woven bracelet reading WWND considering the number of times I've thought just that in dealing w/ my own kids. You are patient, considerate, and beautiful. Any of your friends would do anything for you, as I'm sure you know.

B.Q-L. : More than just about anyone else I know, I want you to be happy. When I hear Art Garfunkel's song 'Disney Girls', it's you I think of. I'm thrilled by your fiery loyalty and shocked (and sometimes amused) by how tenacious you can be. You've debated w/ me for hours, sang disney songs w/ me until both our throats were sore, and held my hair back when I threw up during labor. I can't tell you how much you've meant to me and still do. I need my disney girl to always be around. Ok?

To ADW-D, BS, AP, and any others I've forgotten here (you know who you are)-Even though our paths and priorities may have diverged over time, I don't want you to think I'm ignorant of how knowing you has shaped my life. I'll always be aware of that and I wish all of you happiness.

And last of all, To the angels of the congregation of Smyrna, write: All of you are so dear and beautiful and I love all of you so equally that I wasnt sure how to include you in this post. You were there when I gave my very best to Jehovah (75 a month to be exact) and for that reason all of you are like family. It has been wonderful to hear about your growth; how some of you are now mothers, some of you have unselfishly relocated, and some of you have undergone more serious changes to strengthen your faith. There is, sadly, even a new widow among you now. My heart goes out to all of you.

That's it. That's all I've got. After re-reading this I've realized it sounds a little like a farewell note...ha. Rest assured, it's just the thoughts that went through my head on a sleepless, hazy night in December.