Decompressing

Wow. I never thought I would be the woman on the 'verge of a nervous breakdown' but, there it is. Wednesday of last week I had a now hilarious 'mommy meltdown' in which I found myself sobbing to my six year old and being far too impatient w/ the baby. Thursday night I had a pounding stress headache and was incapable of dealing w/ even small disruptions. My husband relocated the couch and I found myself lying on the floor in tears about it! Yes, I was finally cracking up. I can say this light-heartedly now because today is altogether different. Friday morning at about 2am I lay awake w/ my small son's feet in my ribs and realized I needed to decompress in the biggest of ways!

I woke up my husband at 5am crying once again and completely unraveled. It was like all the bottled up stress that I thought I was handling so well over the past year came out in one fell swoop. He held me like a daddy and patted my back. I told him I needed to get away for a whole day and maybe a night too to relax and reflect. 'I vant to be ahlone'. We agreed that I should go to Nashville Saturday, visit a salon, and stay at a nice hotel. I also made plans w/ some girlfriends to meet up on Saturday night for a few hours.

Although it probably isnt necessary to post each detail of this little sojourn, each detail actually contributed to the finished product so post it I shall.

Friday night the old man came home w/ a bottle of extra dry Korbel and ran me a hot bath by candlelight. Have I mentioned how much I dig him?

Saturday morning I enjoyed breakfast w/ the boys, packed a little overnight bag, and headed off to Nashville and my salon appointment (after making a quick stop at Marti and Liz for a darling pair of ballet flats...ha). Salon Fx in Nashville is a somewhat upscale full-service salon that excels in great customer service. A plump little lady w/ a soothing scottish accent gave me a collagen facial (girls w/ dry skin...you MUST TRY). The room was dark and warm and smelled of lovely eucalyptus-type extracts. As the collagen mask melted on my face I thought about small things. Things that tend to be pushed aside when you're stressed like my dislike of buffets and my love of Grace Kelly. The pedicure that followed was even more relaxing though I seem to have become more ticklish in my old age. I sighed my lazy way to my car and decided it was much too dirty to escort my queenly personage so off I went to the local 'crackhead carwash' where the personell is a bit raw but the services superb. In my now clean automobile, I headed to the Hilton and was thrilled to discover warm cookies and cold milk at the check-out desk. Need I say that I'll be visiting this hotel again? The room was nice and immediately after dropping my stuff I headed down to the hot tub which was completely empty and super hot. I read my current C.S. Lewis Chronicle and watched the sun set in brilliant hues of red. Already I'm a different person.

Saturday night, a dear friend and I made a little detour to Opry Mills where I allowed myself the further freedom of purchasing a few sale items at Banana Republic. My retro style was wholly satisfied by their new spring collections...who knew? We left there to meet other dear friends at The Flying Saucer, a loud and cozy (yes it makes sense) beer emporium downtown. Flying Dog Pilsner is my new favorite brew, by the way! Afterwards it was dancin' time at Decades, a club that caters, evidently, to older yuppies w/ a fetish for the eighties. There were some youngns there too but did they know all the lyrics to 'Footloose' and 'You Give Love a Bad Name'? I think not. My awkward left feet were in their element for sure. But by one a.m. I was burned out on that stuff and pretty happy to discover that the others were too. I returned alone to my hotel and drank champagne and read until my Opry Mills friend returned and chatted w/ me until 4am.

8A.M. Sunday. I'm lying awake wondering if I would be better served by a couple of extra hours sleep or another dip in the hot tub. I opted for the latter and Friend accompanied me down to the otherwise empty pool area. When we were significantly pruny, we made our way back up to the room and prepared to check out and get breakfast.

By 1pm I was back in the lovin' arms of my family and completely rejuvinated. Was this really enough, you may ask? Well, yes actually. I don't know that any more time away would have been beneficial as I was already missing my boys dreadfully and I'm equally sure that any less time would not have been sufficient.

The hotel time in the hot tub seemed the most therapeutic though the facial and pedicure run a close second. The dance club and its patrons only reaffirmed my appreciation for my own early-to-bed life. The frivolous mall inhabitants seemed shallow and swarmy. The buzzing city and its crackhead carwash made me hunger for the clean smells of cow patties and cedar trees. As I drove back home w/ my friend talking of prayer and important things, I felt calm.

And yesterday afternoon, a manchurian ring-necked pheasant wandered in our back yard. As we stared at it silently and in wonder, I couldnt help thinking that this was a very positive thing. No matter where it came from, could it possibly find a better place in the world to visit? Nah.