You guys won't BELIEVE the morning I just had.
So my neighbor has this chocolate lab 'puppy' that is already about the size of a small horse and is completely unaware of his own strength. When he was smaller, he used to come hang out w/ my beagle and I was shocked how strong he already was, jumping up on the kids, knocking the three year old to the ground etc. You can only imagine what his added pounds have accomplished over the weeks in this area. He is an unstoppable force now...a juggernaut. And USUALLY his mistress keeps him tied up. But this morning, I noticed as I was preparing to take my 7 year old to school that he was loose and wreaking havoc all over my yard.
When I opened the door to leave, of COURSE the stupid dog was RIGHT THERE waiting and of COURSE he runs into my house and proceeds to skid around on my hardwood floors, run into walls, and terrify my three year old who was coming out of his room in blissful ignorance and probably thought a pony was loose in our hallway. I was so mad that I screamed insulting words at the beast and ran as best I could to head him off and out the door. After much exhausted maneuvering, I finally succeeded but had to CARRY my three year old son to the car, so frightened was he. I also watched in horror as the dog jumped on my seven year old repeatedly, nearly knocking him down, and leaving muddy pawprints all over his school clothes which would have to stay that way since it was now too late to change. Deep breath. Drive.
On the way home from the school, I stopped at the store to get my morning fix of coke zero (as well as a few extras, for later) and a powerade for my son. When I got home, I opened the car door and WHO should jump into my unexpecting lap but that insane canine , tearing the bag of drinks in the process and running off w/ the powerade like it was some kind of game! Again, my big ol' belly and I chased him down and finally retrieved the drink but in my haste, I'd forgotten to close the car door and of COURSE the dog was now in my car, stinking it up! I decided to prioritize and get my sobbing son out of the car first, carrying he and the five bottles of drinks, that no longer had a useable bag, into the house in one haul. Then back out to the car I went to pull the DEAD WEIGHT of a dog out of my car since he refused to come on his own. Now I'm exhausted beyond belief, my belly is scratched up, my clothes are covered in muddy pawprints, and to top it all off, I'm evidently allergic to this dog and have developed hives all over both arms.
When I got back to the house and opened the door, he tried to run back inside but I was having NONE of that and managed to slam the door on his smart alleck, smiling face without the slightest regret. One look at my scratched hardwood floors was all the validation I needed.
Presently, I'm looking out the window as he rolls around on his back gleefully, completely unaware of the hell he's put me through, snapping his jaws at butterflies and wagging his lead rope of a tail like the baby that he is. I don't want to be one of THOSE neighbors, but I'm going to have to let the next door lady know I cannot have another morning like this. She's gonna have to keep the beast tied up...that is, if she wants him back alive.
SO how was everybody else's morning?
