Dappled and Drowsy and Ready to Sleep...

I realized quite suddenly this week that I am getting older. I am approaching that age that is crudely known as 'mature adulthood'. The realization hit me as I was looking in the mirror. I stared at myself for a very long time just to see if I could get a better understanding of what others saw when they looked at me. It was a moment of vanity, I know, but it provided me w/ an interesting thought. And the longer I looked the more deformed my face became until I was a complete stranger 'unto myself'. I am of the opinion that Van Gough became crazy from looking at himself. Really. He stared at himself so long that he got tired of what he saw and decided to vary the reflection by lopping an ear off. Doesnt that make sense? Well, it did last night when I was thinking it.

So even though an honest physical reflection of ourselves may be difficult to comeby, here are the signs that led me to this simple conclusion: I'm a grown up.

1.'going out' gets old real fast-In May, my husband and I celebrated our 10th anniversary. Such a monumental turning point was noteworthy so we made a plan to celebrate in Memphis, where there are a number of more-than-willing babysitters available. We stayed at a four star hotel, bought a bottle of champagne, went to several restaurants, saw a band play, and after the first day were wholly bored. Don't get me wrong, we love each other magnificently. But we realized rather quickly that our relationship has evolved into a parental one and that without our children, we feel a little empty. Since then, we've only been able to go on one other date. Last month we went out to see a band play and stayed out til (gasp!) 3am. We made a joint decision after that to enjoy the late evening hours sparingly and have more daytime dates. We are WIPED OUT otherwise...ha. Which leads me to my next point:

2. A 9pm bedtime doesnt seem all that wierd- When I was in my teens, the thought of a nine o'clock bedtime would have been ludicrous to say the least. Since I've been married, I've adapted to the fact that my early rising husband likes to bed-down early but I've enjoyed having the time after he dozes off to watch whatever I want on the telly. Now, since we live in one room and the children are 9' o clock-ers, we all have the same bed time. And, you know what? It's not impossible for me after all. I'm asleep almost immediately and bright-eyed by 6am. Wierd.

3. Fads are for kids- Trends were always my downfall. I had the hardest time developing a style because as soon as something looked cool, I was buying into it. At my moving sale this year I sold almost everything I owned when I realized that it just looked 'too young'. Since then, I've invested in almost all tailored pieces spiced up w/ a few fun t shirts and fifties style items. I realize that even though I finally look 'my age', I also look a lot more comfortable.

4. Travel is a luxury; moving is NOT- It was this year that my husband and I decided it was time for us thirty year olds to settle down for good. We called the bank, bought 20 acres of land, a houseplan, and breathed a contented sigh. We are here for good. This is our home. Our children can grow up here, spread roots if they want, or visit forever if they don't. I still have a strong urge to travel but a once or twice a year vacation sounds just fine to me.

5. Arguing is a waste of time-Now I don't know if that is a 'mature' decision or just a tired one but it certainly saves time. I just don't have the desire or the energy to argue (debates are different, Barbie!). If you are going to put so much effort into being right, then you deserve to be! I've had to bite my lip a few times but have decided the non confrontational me is a better person, altogether.

6. Ponds and Bag Balm- And here it is. The final sign that I am definitely getting 'up there'. Ever since I was little, I've always equated the smell of Pond's Cold Cream w/ my mother. Coffee and terpentine were my grandfather's smells. Suddenly, my normal/ combination skin has become redicuously dry and I am able to see why so many women have sworn by the greasy white stuff. It works! So at night, I go to bed w/ my nose full of Ponds and bag balm (an ancient remedy for dry hands that smells like medicine...my husband's cure of choice). And in the morning, I wake up to the smell of Ponds and coffee.

Now, if I could just find some turpentine....