I heard about this book on the radio and though I haven't read it (nor do I necessarily plan to), I was really attracted to the general premise of it and plan to try to put the ideas into practice myself. The writer, Will Bowen, has some pretty inspired things to say about the subject of complaining.
I've noticed over the past year that my seven year old has developed the worst habit of complaining and no matter how much we tell him 'don't complain', the problem only seems to be getting worse. He's a whiner. I know he hears me gripe a bit and therefore is probably only developing a trait he has learned from me. Sigh.
The idea presented in this book is therefore a good one for our family, I feel. The concept is that anyone can become 'complaint free' by conscientiously trying NOT to focus on the negative for 21 days. According to Mr Bowen, complaining is like 'bad breath'. You notice it when it comes out of someone else's mouth but not your own. Once a person becomes in tuned with their own problem of complaining, it can be overcome. He encourages wearing a bracelet and switching it to the other wrist when you catch yourself whining, griping, or complaining. The object is to keep it on the same wrist for 21 days since this is how long experts say it takes to start a new habit. Cool idea, huh?
One thing he made sure to stress on the radio interview this morning, however, is NOT to confuse complaining w/ getting what you deserve. In other words, getting the wrong item at a restaurant, a hair in your soup, or talking to a doctor about an ailment is NOT complaining-at least not in his program. Also, avoiding gossip is a good idea but not if it qualifies as something you would say directly to the person concerned or if the gossip is positive in nature (sounds like a Watchtower article I once read). The point is to avoid focusing on negative things to the point that you have to talk about them. Because really, 'what good do it do?' Hee hee.
